The Pain We’ll Never Know

Build a house on your property.  Build it to your own dreams.  All the windows just the right size and pointing to just the view you had in mind.  You used the certain cedar you wanted, and the house smells Wonderful!  When you walk from one end to the other, there is nothing about this house that doesn’t meet your joy.  All your dreams and hopes are finally come to fruit.  It’s a beautiful place and you’re perfectly happy with what you’ve accomplished.

Now it’s time to invite your loved ones to come see it.  When they arrive they too are astounded at the beauty of the place.  There is a great joy because you finally get what you’ve dreamed about for so very long.  After a joyous celebration in the back yard, and many trips from your friends into and around the house to marvel at what your hands made, the guests filter home.  You are left alone in silence with your wonderful peaceful accomplishment.  And, finally, you’re happy.  To bed you go.  Your first night’s sleep in your dream house.  Oh it’s not possible to explain the joy you feel.

You wake up the next morning and stare at the intricate hand work of your bedroom.  “Beautiful”, you sigh.  After getting dressed and enjoying that exquisite view out your bedroom window, you skip down the stairs to make a pot of coffee.  “What’s that smell?”  It’s not cedar.  There’s an odor you can’t identify.  At first it’s so unexpected to your senses you think it’s a sweet smell.  But a second whiff and you realize it’s such a foul smell that your brain couldn’t identify it.  “Wow, that’s nasty”, you think to yourself.  But you just can’t find the source.  Something’s wrong with your dream house and you can’t find it.

Weeks have passed and your dreams have become shattered by that smell.  Now a green fungus has begone growing on the walls.  At first you thought it was just a dust.  You’ve worked at it for a while now and made no progress.  You took it on the chin at first.  Thinking to yourself, “I put a lot of sweat, blood, and sleepless nights into building this place.  I’m not gonna let a little smell and a speck of mold destroy my dreams.”  But no matter what you do you can’t get the place clean.

One day, months later, you come home and put your hand on the door knob.  It doesn’t turn.  You can’t even get into your house without breaking something.  You’re locked out of your dream.  Hours you’ve spent trying to figure out what’s wrong.  But you find no solution to the problem.  You can’t even sit on your porch swing to ponder what to do, because that mold is all over everything now.  Your legs lose their strength to walk down the steps into the yard.  Your hands drop in a great experience of depression.  And you stand under a tree, staring in disbelief at your shattered dream.  The work of your hands, the pride of your whole life, is destroyed.  How deeply sad you’re becoming as you realize it’s over.

There’s not much choice now.  And your mind begins to realize the full extent of the problem.  “There’s nothing left to do but burn it down”.  Tears begin to flow.  And soon you find yourself sobbing without shame.  Sadness has broken your heart.  “It’s over.”

How does God feel when He looks at us?  We are the work of His perfect hand.  He made this place for His joy.  And now we’ve become so very corrupt and foul.  He tries to enter our lives and we refuse Him His joy.  It is the heart of God that has been wounded.  It is perfection and eternity that is locked out of our lives.  And we did it.  It was not His desire that these things should be. 

By His Grace